Scene 1

A lit candle

An open laptop

A person

[Person closes laptop, which no longer lights their stupid face. Candle. Person speaks percussively right about the flame to put it out:]

PERSON: Pants. Penis. Porn

[The candle goes out on porn. The wick smokes. Person exits for half a beat, returns, snuffs wick between index finger and thumb.]

PERSON: [direct address] I dream better with no socks on. I

want you to understand. I steal sniffs of my sweaty-person smell and pretend its

your sweaty person;

I'm face in your pits and we're, sure as love is sweet, makin' sweet sweet, baby.

And then the grass gets complicated. And even

sunsets moonlight as undercover snowflakes, lawless as reason... 

And then there's U.

[U enters with swag. They wear a raggedy cap and bottle-cap glasses. U sucks their teeth, scratches crotch, shoves PERSON's head, and steps up, over and onto a plastic-wrapped couch which appears beneath them. They land on the couch and immediately feign impossibly relaxed.]

U: What the great fuck are you blathering about?

PERSON: I will the stars down out of ignorance. [Silence]

Do you believe in fulfillal?

U: [immediately] No. Fulfillment. And no. You have to learn to talk to people, Person. People fill you. If you're full of people, you will be filled by them.

It's my solace, Person; people,

People fill you.

[EYE appears wearing a trench coat and galoshes. They carry a water pistol. They point it as if taking careful aim at whomever they are speaking to.]

EYE: [Splirt of the pistol at U] Tautologous. [Splirt] You can literally say that about anything; If you're full of water, you will be filled by water. [Splirt] If you're full of corn grits, you will be filled by corn grits. If you're full of canker sores, you will be filled by canker sores. [Splirt] If you're full of the Madonna [Splirt], you little Michelangelo you [Splirt], you will be filled by the Madonna. [EYE pretends to take shots of the pistol at U with every new example sending the words like bullets:] Toothpaste, petrol, cat, fork, grace...

PERSON: Sunsets. [Launches a mime hand-grenade at U, after pulling the pin with their teeth.]

EYE: Yes, sunsets. Point is, U, you're reasoning is invalid. Your solace: invalid. Your operating under a system as lawless as -

PERSON: - snowflakes.

EYE: There you have it. [Splirt]

Snowflakes. No law;

Invalid.

[EYE pretends to take 2 shots of the pistol at U , making a splirt sound with each shot.]


-JV